a wedding & beta

Turns out updating a blog requires time…

A few weekends ago we went to Kansas City for the wedding of Dustin’s cousin Peter and his lovely bride Caroline. I was particularly excited about this wedding because

1) I love weddings.2) It meant a trip to KC.3) It was family.

and 4)…it was Beta.

If you’ve ever known, dated, or perhaps married a KU Beta, you already understand what I’m saying. If you haven’t, the KU Betas would say you’re missing out. The wives would roll their eyes in adoration.

This group of men is the kind of ridiculous that other men find annoying, but secretly find threatening. Women find them adorable. Seriously. Is there a woman out there that doesn’t think that men who are close like brothers are adorable? If there is, I guess I don’t relate with them because I love the KU Betas. I find them adorable.

Dustin’s cousin isn’t just his cousin. They’re friends because of Beta. They literally lived in the most appalling of conditions and developed the sweetest of an unlikely friendship. When I was telling others about our plans for the wedding weekend, I always rationalized that this wedding was more significant than others.

It was a reunion.

If there is a wedding, these men fly from all corners of the states to be there. New York, LA, Kansas City, Dallas, Minneapolis, Nicaragua (I kid you not). They chain e-mail no less than forty times daily with witty comments, one-liners, strange requests, and brotherly support.

The evening of the rehearsal dinner, we all lingered at the restaurant bar to join up with the other Betas that were just getting into town, etc. I stood chatting with one of the other Beta wives who made the comment: “Have you ever seen a group of guys who touch each other as much as these guys do?” My response: “I know, it’s so cute.” There were so many bro-bear hugs going on, it was endearing.

Call me cheesy (it would be true), but I love it when people care about each other. And there’s something so satisfying when a group of men care about each other. When they make sacrifices to be present for the significant events in each others’ lives. When they tease each other mercilessly, but would stand next to them as proud men as they promise their lives to another. I believe in the KU Beta tradition. I do. I believe in the friendships they form over hours of primping pine trees before Turkey Pull and games of quarters played at the Wheel.

When Dustin and I got married, the KU Betas sang to me as a new Beta wife. They actually went downstairs to practice and assign soloists. (They don’t mess around when it comes to be frat.) The highlight of their wedding singing is the song “How’d You Like to be a Beta Sweetheart.” They sang it to me, Mallory, Krystal, Michelle, and, this particular weekend, Caroline. Any time they sing it, the wedding guests line up with their cameras, some knowing what is about to happen, some unknowingly following the crowd. The bride sits in a chair in the middle of the gathering as the men perform. This particular wedding there were three generations of KU Beta men in the group. It was such a poignant picture of what the fraternity is all about. It so much more than the stereotype those outside the group like to label it. It’s a group of men that wandered through the awkward years of college together, built friendships around the question “what do I want to be when I grow up” and sustain friendships around the question “what do I want to be when I grow up..”

It’s exactly what you need in college. It’s the kind of intense friendship that you need to keep your head up during the weirdness that is college life. I love watching them revel in the memories…

{my Beta sweetheart}{Marti & her boys}{Gramps the Beta & his sweetheart}{Dustin & Luke, resident Beta musician}{more Betas}{Beta Sweethearts}

Congratulations Peter & Caroline! What a weekend to celebrate!

celebrating my mom

It’s really nice having my Mom.

Maybe that’s over-simplifying things, but I wonder how many people can really say that. How many can actually say that life is easier, more secure, and generally more enjoyable because of their Moms? I only ask that because I realize my sister and I might be a minority and I’m thankful. My Mom makes life better.

My grandparents tell me that when Donna Kent came into the world July 14, 19** in Andrews, Texas, they were absolutely delighted. Meme once told me that when my Mom was born she thought: “Now I have what I’ve always wanted.” Mom was making life better even from day one. I love my Mom’s Texas history because it explains the hints of her subtle southern drawl and it’s full of romanticized stories of their sweet family moving to Tulsa and establishing roots in the town that I now call home.

It didn’t take long for my Mom to become an Okie. She met the original Okie, Frank Lester, at the University of Oklahoma in the late ’70s. She was a sophisticated sorority girl from the big city and he was an “everybody’s-friend” kind of farm boy from a small town. Or at least that what I’ve been told.

My Mom has often told me about how she fell in love with my Dad. It was simple, sweet, and just right. They met in pharmacy school and they ran around with the same group of friends. Over time she started admiring Dad’s character. He was funny, easy to be with, thoughtful, and an all around honest guy. It doesn’t sound like the romance of the century, but I’ve lived my own version and it’s the only way to do it. What I love about this story is that Mom chose right. She found the best man in my Dad and she’s loved him faithfully for over thirty years. That’s a real love story.

When I was a little girl, I remember thinking that my Mom was always right. Chalk it up to good parenting, but I seriously feared the woman. She expected us to do the right thing, but she didn’t have to nag us to do it. She expected with grace. One time I remember throwing some kind of fit on the phone and hanging up on her. She called me right back and gave instructions of what I was to have done before she got home from work. She also gently reminded me that I am not to hang up on her again. She would not even engage with my hysterics, just told me firmly that whatever had just happened better not happen again.

Ask me if I’ve ever hung up on her again.

She’s not just sophisticated, good-looking, and respectable. She’s smart, too. She’ll be humble about it, but she’s been a practicing pharmacist for years and is now an executive director for one of the largest insurance companies in the nation. I love that my Mom is an intelligent professional woman because she’s balanced about it. Mom doesn’t operate in extremes. She’s committed to doing her best at work and she’s committed to us. It’s just never been an issue. She can play sweet mother and no-nonsense executive. It works for her. 

My Mom is a woman of God. I have vivid memories of walking in on her in prayer or finding her aged pink leather Bible lying around because she’d been studying. I recall some drive to somewhere when Mom was talking about Psalm 139 {You hem me in behind and before, You have laid Your hand upon me…} and she explained that, in her mind, she’d always imagined God hemming us in the way she used to place her hand on our stomachs and backs to guide use while we learned to walk. I can’t think of a more beautiful illustration of God holding us up so we don’t fall. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I really noticed all the subtle ways my Mom sought the Lord right in front of me. I realize now how easily life gets in the way of pursuing Him and how easily we can lose sight of His glory in the midst of the mundane. I realize how my Mom didn’t let those things interfere with her commitment to Him and I want to be that faithful.

I said this about my Dad on Father’s Day, but I’ll say it about my Mom, too. She makes trusting God easy. She makes understanding His abundant grace and lavish love not so unbelievable. I’m so thankful for that kind of legacy.

Happy Birthday Mom!

faithful

I started this blog in 2007.

Clearly, I fell off the wagon sometime after graduate school. I blame my job. No seriously, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed writing blog posts to pass the time during class. How foolish I was to long for full-time employment or to ever EVER say that I was bored during a month long break from school. Things have changed.

Even with the loss of free time, I can honestly say things haven’t just changed, they’ve improved. When I started toying with the idea of resurrecting my blog, I considered deleting my old posts to start fresh. I eventually decided not to because I am literally overwhelmed with joy when I look back at what God has done in the last 3 years. Today I’ve decided to sum up in pictures:



Finished graduate school and entered the world of gainful employment as a social worker. I can honestly say that I love my profession. Some days are long and some cases are impossible, but most days are worth it.






Jackson James Allison came into our lives. My sweet baby nephew. He is absolute joy. The first time I saw my sister after he was born, I was a mess. I just cried like a crazy person. I’m really not sure why except that I wanted to see my sister. I realize the majority of people have already experienced the birth of another human being that either belonged to them or someone really close to them, but this was my first. There was something so surreal about the whole day. All of the sudden there was a whole new person in our lives. Empirically I knew this would happen, but emotionally I didn’t know what to do except cry and run for my sister. Not the first time that’s ever happened…



Soon after baby Jack entered the world, the boy across the street became the love of my life.



The August day we got married is the most precious day of my life thus far. I have no memories that even compare with the memory of this day. So I’ll spare you the details and plan for an anniversary post full of mush.

The next day we flew straight to Hawaii for what has since been described as the best vacation ever. We initially looked into something non-traditional, non-beachy for our honeymoon, but my wise in-laws knew better. Let me take this opportunity to say…if my in-laws ever suggest another vacation spot, I’m there. Two seconds is the time it took for me to get comfortable under the cabana with a mai tai.

Then we came home to our sweet house in the burbs, where in order to perpetuate stereotypes, we bought this:



Introducing the dog I said I’d never have: Charlie. Turns out there is literally no way to not buy a golden retriever puppy if you look at them. If you’re on the fence about buying one, do not go look at them. I guarantee you will leave with less money and more responsibility. Two weeks later you’ll be an emotional wreck asking questions like “have I already told too many people we got this to take it back?” My advice? Give it time. In five months you’ll be showing people pictures of him like he’s a child and trying to train him to cuddle.

I wish I had more time to really write about more from the last two years. I wish I had time to share all the ways God refined me, challenged me, and blessed me, but I won’t dwell on that. If there’s any way to wrap up what He’s done in the last two years, I would simply say this: He is faithful.

Simple, but true and true forever.

As I am writing this, my husband is asleep on the bed with Star Wars on in the background. Our dog is resting outside on the patio and I’m reveling in the pleasantness of our Friday night. More good things to share soon…

Engagement Story

Our story started so long ago that there is really no beginning. 

About two months before he proposed, Dustin sent flowers to my office with a card that said “Our love is a story.”  He was using a few sweet words to convey what we had been thinking and praying about since May of last year…the story of us and where it was headed. 

If I knew the beginning of our story this would be the place to talk about it, but I don’t remember how we met.  I don’t remember how we met because since day one of my life, Dustin has been in it.  At the time, our friendship may have been a matter of convenience for our mothers.  I suppose our families were the only people from Broken Arrow attending Asbury in the late 80s/early 90s so that made car-pooling to preschool a high priority, particularly since we lived in the same neighborhood. 

In preschool, we introduced each other to fundamental differences in boy families and girl families.  One has giant plastic pipes for building forts.  The other has plastic tiaras and sparkly clothes for playing dress up.  I remember thinking the Curzons had such strange toys and none of them were pretty.   I’m confident Dustin wondered why all my toys were so dainty, pink and generally not conducive to the outdoors.  I even remember being chased on the playground and told that the giant hole Dustin and another boy were digging was to bury me in. 

When the Curzons moved a few miles south, we followed them.  We followed them right across the street, perhaps so the car-pooling could carry on to middle school and eventually Dustin could turn 16 and start driving me to church on Sunday evenings in the beloved green Chevy truck.  Those days we were always friends.

The courtyard at old Asbury holds a lot of significance for Dustin and me.  We have taken quite a few pictures over the years on Easter Sundays standing on a rock in that courtyard.  At the time those pictures were to appease our mothers, but now those pictures are for us.  Dustin proposed in the courtyard on November 13, 2009. 

We’ll spare you the details between the Chevy truck and the courtyard because our hope is that this story will not be solely about us.  Our story involves people that have influenced us along the way with their wisdom, humor, and most importantly faith.  It begins with the roots our parents planted for us in the church, roots that have guided us through wandering college years and given us unmatched community in our young adult years.  Most importantly these roots have given us faith in a God whose wisdom and sovereignty are the central themes of our story.  If we share our story, we want to share about who God is and what great things He has done for us.  Even in times of confusion or hardship, we believe he was working on our hearts to make them more like His and point us toward each other. 

We pray that when you join us on August 21, 2010 for the covenant ceremony of our marriage the music, the white dress, the promises will all remind you of a God who is faithful , a God who longs to be compassionate to us and who called us to marriage so that we can tell others about our story and give every ounce of credit to Him.

“I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD my God!  For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness.  I am like a bridgegroom in his wedding suit or a bride with her jewels.  The Sovereign LORD will show his justice to the nations of the world.  Everyone will praise him!  His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring with plants springing up everywhere.”

Isaiah 61: 10-11

Love,

Dustin and Emily