Turns out updating a blog requires time…

A few weekends ago we went to Kansas City for the wedding of Dustin’s cousin Peter and his lovely bride Caroline. I was particularly excited about this wedding because

1) I love weddings.2) It meant a trip to KC.3) It was family.

and 4)…it was Beta.

If you’ve ever known, dated, or perhaps married a KU Beta, you already understand what I’m saying. If you haven’t, the KU Betas would say you’re missing out. The wives would roll their eyes in adoration.

This group of men is the kind of ridiculous that other men find annoying, but secretly find threatening. Women find them adorable. Seriously. Is there a woman out there that doesn’t think that men who are close like brothers are adorable? If there is, I guess I don’t relate with them because I love the KU Betas. I find them adorable.

Dustin’s cousin isn’t just his cousin. They’re friends because of Beta. They literally lived in the most appalling of conditions and developed the sweetest of an unlikely friendship. When I was telling others about our plans for the wedding weekend, I always rationalized that this wedding was more significant than others.

It was a reunion.

If there is a wedding, these men fly from all corners of the states to be there. New York, LA, Kansas City, Dallas, Minneapolis, Nicaragua (I kid you not). They chain e-mail no less than forty times daily with witty comments, one-liners, strange requests, and brotherly support.

The evening of the rehearsal dinner, we all lingered at the restaurant bar to join up with the other Betas that were just getting into town, etc. I stood chatting with one of the other Beta wives who made the comment: “Have you ever seen a group of guys who touch each other as much as these guys do?” My response: “I know, it’s so cute.” There were so many bro-bear hugs going on, it was endearing.

Call me cheesy (it would be true), but I love it when people care about each other. And there’s something so satisfying when a group of men care about each other. When they make sacrifices to be present for the significant events in each others’ lives. When they tease each other mercilessly, but would stand next to them as proud men as they promise their lives to another. I believe in the KU Beta tradition. I do. I believe in the friendships they form over hours of primping pine trees before Turkey Pull and games of quarters played at the Wheel.

When Dustin and I got married, the KU Betas sang to me as a new Beta wife. They actually went downstairs to practice and assign soloists. (They don’t mess around when it comes to be frat.) The highlight of their wedding singing is the song “How’d You Like to be a Beta Sweetheart.” They sang it to me, Mallory, Krystal, Michelle, and, this particular weekend, Caroline. Any time they sing it, the wedding guests line up with their cameras, some knowing what is about to happen, some unknowingly following the crowd. The bride sits in a chair in the middle of the gathering as the men perform. This particular wedding there were three generations of KU Beta men in the group. It was such a poignant picture of what the fraternity is all about. It so much more than the stereotype those outside the group like to label it. It’s a group of men that wandered through the awkward years of college together, built friendships around the question “what do I want to be when I grow up” and sustain friendships around the question “what do I want to be when I grow up..”

It’s exactly what you need in college. It’s the kind of intense friendship that you need to keep your head up during the weirdness that is college life. I love watching them revel in the memories…

{my Beta sweetheart}{Marti & her boys}{Gramps the Beta & his sweetheart}{Dustin & Luke, resident Beta musician}{more Betas}{Beta Sweethearts}

Congratulations Peter & Caroline! What a weekend to celebrate!