1 Month
How has it been one month since Ella came into the world? Is it too cliche of me to say that time has flown by? Yes, it is. And yes, it has.
I sit here thinking of how the process of EJ coming into our lives felt so painstakingly long. Trying to get pregnant for 14 months, waiting for 10 months for labor to start, laboring for 25 hours. And then there was Day 4. If someone had asked me on Day 4 if I felt time was passing quickly, I would have laughed through tears because Day 4 felt like the longest day of my life. Apparently, I had already forgotten about labor. But alas, here we are. One month in.
Last Saturday evening, we went out to dinner while Ella stayed home with her grandparents. In the car we talked about what we had learned over the last month, what surprised us, what has been different than our expectations. To be honest, we didn't have many expectations because until a month ago having a daughter was just an interesting concept. We talked about love and how our love was never an instant kind of love, but rather a love that became real and deep over time. Try 20+ years. I think our love for Ella is a little like that. Each day feels a little more real. Each day we learn her a little bit more. Her face. Her hands. Her cry. Her temperment. We love her a little bit more the deeper we get into this relationship and the more we realize that she is ours.
She is starting to make eye contact and coo at us. She stares intently at the Christmas tree lights. She can go from zero to sixty in less than a minute if she's hungry. She has a love/hate relationship with baths. She fusses, but then becomes strangely calm. She shakes her head frantically back and forth if you force the pacifier on her. What can I say, the girl knows what she wants. She has bright, beautiful eyes and wants to look over your shoulder for a while when she's done eating. We battled the swaddling of her arms for a few weeks, but I think we've won that battle. She has yet to notice Charlie although he has certainly noticed her. She sleeps relatively well at night less the occasional thirty minutes of being contently wide awake for some unknown reason when we're desperate to go to sleep. She is happy 98% of the time.
Ellagirl, you are ours. After much consideration and a month long trial, your Dad and I have decided to keep you. We can't wait to see you grow and change in month 2.